What I have learned about surrender and achievement in motherhood

By Rachel Reva

Wanna hear the complexity of being a coach and a Christian? I believe you can create a life and career on your terms – you can own your life, your time, your joy – but God is at the center of all of it.

If you try and control too much of it, you’ll lose it all. And yet, if we don’t take initiative and ownership of our time, energy, relationships, career, finances – we are just existing. Not producing, not co-creating, not living the brilliant life that God has called us to.

He who tries to save his life, loses it… This truth – and complexity has never been more clear then when I became a mama for the first time. I had a relatively successful career, business and life – I thought I could handle stuff. And frankly, being a bit of a control freak kinda worked for me.

My brand was even called ‘life on her terms’ because I so passionately believed – and still do -that you can create a life on your terms with one decision. Then I met Michael. My baby. Who was precious – and also cheeky, tenacious and ever so demanding. And he didn’t want to sleep.

Especially when I had coaching calls and business to do. It was like it was ‘life on Michael’s terms’ – and I felt totally out of control and at times defeated. I went to God plenty of times crying.. ‘how can I achieve my purpose with this baby??’ ‘why didn’t you give me a sleeping, placid child?’

Talk about eating humble pie.

The ‘control’ that had worked for me so well in previous years, was not going to work this time. I wasn’t in the driver’s seat. I had to go with the flow, let go – and let God show me what this season was about.

It was about letting go, and showing up where I was needed.

It was about trusting God with the big stuff, while I did the ‘small stuff’ in daily life.

It was about letting go of my ego that wanted to produce, to achieve, to show I was ‘still goal slaying’ even with a baby in tow.

It was about surrendering this time and season to God so He could use it – and give me the space I needed to be a mother and learn the lessons I needed to – and still am learning.

Do I still have control issues? Yep. Its something I check in with God regularly about – but I know that as long as I am letting God in the driver’ss seat, I can breathe and sit on the passengers side for a while.

If there’s an area you are struggling to take control in – just consider this – are you trying to take control from God?


Rachel Reva is a publicity strategist, published author of ‘Grit, Grace and Hustle: A faith gal’s guide to authentic success’ and founder of the coaching and consulting company Life On Her Terms  Media. You can hear Rachel’s coaching inspiration series Coffee and Faith every Tuesday on Rhema 99.7FM. 

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